6/29/5 - Colorado Post Card

Long Winding Roads Through Beautiful Scenery


The Rocky Mountains are magnificent!


Wow, the traffic signs sure offer some interesting choices here.

See y'all when I get back. Be sure an' keep an eye on things in town...ya hear?
-Tom

6/23/5 - Longview to Grand Junction, CO

I'm off east for the next couple of weeks to Colorado, Montana and more.
Larry C. asked me (via the comments) to link the "Father's Day" story that I wrote last Christmas for my Dad, so I'll do that this week and check back in with y'all from the road next week.
Link: 12/21/4 Outlet Mall to Home
Keep your eye on things in this nice little town, ya hear?
-Tom

6/14/5 - Kamiah, Idaho to Longview

A lot of people were hopin' that Michael Jackson would lose when the verdict was announced on Tuesday...but in the end, all parties, including those who followed the trial through the media, were the real losers.

Michael Jackson - even though he did "win", Jackson is now publically tainted as a pedophile, (despite the verdict) and will be doomed forever to the thousands of jokes, chained to his public cartoon-like character of which seems only to be out-of-touch and sedated. And maybe most frightening, to face his own insignificance as an artist and unsubstantial human being, locked away in a decaying amusement park hidaway a la Charles Foster Kane.
The prosecuting accusers - are really big time losers; now permanently and culturally labled as money grubbing whores who were willing to face public humiliation and witness-relocation just for a chance at money. At the juror press conference, one of the jurors, who is a mother herself, was asked:
"Did you feel that the mother in the case was at fault rather than Mr. Jackson?"
"I'd like to comment on that but I believe at this time I probably shouldn't." Nuff said.
The fans parked out for months in front of the courthouse - I mean, do I have to even comment about these people? What would possess someone to commit both lengthy periods of time and emotional energy to do something like this? Pathetic losers, all of them.
The Media - who fed on this story for all it was worth, because it's not about any real news; it's about viewer ratings equalling big advertising money. This is the only thing our current form of "news-media" cares about. History will prove the Michael Jackson case as a microscopic event. Nevertheless, the media made this trial and resultant verdict the major headline for as long as they could, all-the-while diverting America's attention from actual news of recent devulged facts that the President and current administration lied us all into a war that has killed thousands of American kids for no reason. This, will be remembered historically, I promise.
Those who understand the details - For knowing all minutia about Michael and those involved, (and any other celebrities) when we don't even know our own neighbors. When we don't even know what our own City Council is doing. When most Americans know how Jacko loves to shop and has Elephant Man bones, but can't tell you the name of their own Senator, or what the person living three houses away does for a living.

In the end, this whole trial produced no winners at all. It may have proved nothing more than the fact that the US is populated by an isolated jury of voyeristic losers.
-Tom

6/8/5 - Home

Chron-photo of Betsy Johnson, Tony Hyde and Rita Bernhardt
cutting the ribbon to "officially" open the Amphitheater.

A few thoughts on this one my friends.
First, I don't want to seem like an ol' truck-drivin' sour-puss or anything--I am happy about the Amphitheater's unvieling, the concerts scheduled and all it has to offer St Helens. And there was a great turn out from the community last Thursday evening...
Nevertheless, I can not for the life of me figure out why there aren't any St Helens City Officials pictured above, (why they weren't even involved at all) and more to the point, why two County Commissioners had the lead roles in this opening ceremony.
Is the Amphitheater now a County Park? Did the County contribute any money to the Amphitheater's creation and erection? Yeah, I can understand Sen. Johnson being there, since the Johnson Foundation contributed $5000 or more to the Amphitheater's development Fund. But where are the others?
Where was the high-school jazz-ensemble that was one of the main inspirations for the original idea? Where was Tom Brumbaugh? And where was Larry Buzbee? Or a few of the people who donated their hard-earned money for salmon bollards? Jesus, where are the salmon bollards period?
Dave Freitag wrote an excellent letter to sthelensupdate back in February mentioning that, "the coming together of a community on a volunteer basis to build a structure like this is a rare event for any town."
Dave is absolutely right and this SHOULD HAVE BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED last Thursday! ...Right?!!?
This whole thing just stinks. Keep your eye on things in this nice town y'all have here.
-Tom

6/1/5 - St Helens to Longview

With a little time to kill before headin’ back to squabble with the front-office boys in Longview over my monthly receipts, I made a fateful decision to run into the St Helens Safeway to pick up a few items I needed for my truck: a new road-toothbrush, a replacement scratch-notepad for my used-up and decaying one, some double-A batteries, another pouch of jerky (what-the-hell), a coupla packs of Dentyne and whatnot.
Anyway…walkin’ in, I was greeted by a disturbing omen blaring over the Safeway “sound-system” in the form of a sickly Muzak rendition of "I Saw the Light" by Todd Rundgren. (The song’s chorus, arranged with an army of fake-oboes backing the Burt Bacharach-like trumpet melody, was particularly hair-raising.)
Yep, I would be seein’ the light alright.
After shaking this off by whistlin’ my own rendition of “Ring of Fire” and doing some typical truck driver shopping, I made my way back towards the storefront and there standing before me in the checkout-line was “that woman”.
You know who I mean: the one who lives in "world without mirrors". Her prominently overexposed body bears an uncanny resemblance to a gigantic dollop of soft-serve vanilla ice-cream at the Dairy Delish: white, pasty Michelin Man-skin tryin' to bust out of her undersized tank top, spilling over her cone-colored tan shorts and onto the floor .
Even more shocking to me is that she was browsing the most recent Us Magazine cover article discussing Jessica Simpson's New Bikini Body Secrets.
What was actually goin’ on in that skull of hers is anyone’s guess. I do know that my skull started screamin’, “Look away, look away Tom! But after scanning the useless-shit rack in the checkout-line for what seemed like an eternity, I knew there was no escape - my brain and eyes could no longer be averted from this inescapable visual torture. It’s like drivin’ by a car accident on the highway—you don’t want to look—but some evil force compels you to.
So it shouldn’t be hard, dear readers, to imagine the aforementioned woman’s ass: It looked like a single industrial-sized piece of Jello trying to escape the confines of its ridiculous packaging.
I tried to examine how clean the Safeway floor was…still, it was no use.
Next to her, stood one of her spawn - a nine year-old, turnip-shaped boy clad in a sleeveless “Orange County Choppers” t-shirt. He was incessantly begging Mom to add a jumbo 4-pack of Reese’s Peanut-Butter Cups to their foraging expedition.
And as if all of this weren’t enough punishment, my ears joined the party for more detailed assessments, following the cashier’s zombie-like scanning and resultant computer beeps of the vast inventory of items slowly moving down the checkout conveyor-belt: boxes of Hostess mini-donuts and Ding-Dongs, (beep-beep, beep-beep) huge "Big-Grab" sized Cheetoes, (beep-beep) family-sized tub of Cool-Whip, (beep-beep), an endless array of $1.29 Banquet TV dinners, (beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep...) 12-pack of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, (beep-beep).
I ended up recoiling in horror and faking as if I had suddenly remembered an important forgotten item...quickly makin' a beeline back to the meat-section.
After spying the hunter-gatherers pushin’ their two laiden carts out of Safeway, I calmly checked-out, hopped in my truck and fled towards Rainier and the bridge to Longview.
I have never looked forward to seeing the loadin’-dock foreman so much.
-Tom