9.20.6 - California

back next week!
-Tom

OPERATION
(Tony Hoagland)

In autumn, Operation Enduring Freedom commenced,
which some party-poopers wanted to nickname
Operation Infinite Self-Indulgence.
We tied flags to the antennae of our cars
that snapped like fire when we drove.

In winter there was Operation Gentle Sledgehammer,
which seemed linguistically a little underdigested,
but we lined up squads of second-graders
to stand at attention while we beat a drum.

Let me make it clear that I was
as doubtful as anyone about Operation Racial Provocation
but I loved Operation Religious Suspicion,

which led to Operation Eye For An Eye,
which was succeeded by Operation Helping Hand;
—Let me tell you that was a scary-looking hand!
But that was also a very successful Operation.

Someday you will be required to perform a terrible deed
in order to save yourself,
but save yourself for what?

That would be a question for Operation Self-Examination to answer,
which is a very painful operation
performed without anesthesia
in a naked room full of shadows and light.

Perhaps I might suggest, instead,
Operation Self-Medication, or Operation Endless Mindless Distraction?
In the meantime Operation Collateral Amnesia
is proceeding very smoothly

When it is over we want call it Operation One Big Happy Family—
Is that okay with you?

9.5.6 - Longview to Astoria

Well...if ya think Mayor Peterson has problems, consider the plight of Astoria mayor, Willis Van Dusen who was arrested on a drunken driving charge after his motorcyle collided with a pickup on Monday. (Labor Day)

Van Dusen, 53, Astoria's mayor for 16 years, has filed to run for a fifth four-year term in November. This is the third time he has been charged with drunken driving.

Police said Van Dusen was driving a Harley Davidson motorcycle Monday night when he struck the passenger side of a pickup that pulled into an intersection.

Van Dusen was taken to Columbia Memorial Hospital, where he was treated for a head injury and released.

Witnesses at the scene and Trooper Gary Martin, who interviewed Van Dusen at the hospital, said Van Dusen was visibly intoxicated, state police Sgt. Andrew Merila said.

Van Dusen refused to give a blood sample and was cited and released at the hospital for driving under the influence of intoxicants. Wilson was cited for failing to obey a traffic device, driving uninsured and not having a driver's license. Both vehicles were towed from the scene and impounded.

The mayor did not immediately return a phone call by The Associated Press.

Van Dusen was charged with drunken driving in 1989, when his car was seen swerving on its way into Pendleton on Interstate 84, The Daily Astorian reported. The case was dismissed and he was sent to a diversion program on May 23, 1990. He completed diversion from that arrest in 1991.

On May 19, 1994, Astoria police arrested Van Dusen for DUII after spotting his car swerving from side to side. He pleaded guilty June 8, 1994, and was sentenced to a mandatory one-year license suspension, a fine and 80 hours of community service in lieu of a two-day jail sentence.

Clatsop County District Attorney Josh Marquis said he has yet to review Van Dusen's case, and he will probably send it to another county for prosecution.

Maybe Van Dusen needs to learn a thing or two from Mayor Peterson (and Monty Python) on "how not to be seen".

he-he,
-Tom