Had some time before loadin’ up on Saturday mornin’ and headed out to do a little fishin’ on a nice quiet river in the woods between Mist and Vernonia. I ran into a nice ol’ fella from Scappoose who seemed keen on showin’ me the better spots to fish on. He was talkin’ the whole time about all of the differences between Scappoose and St. Helens, which basically was all about how much better their high-school football team is and some artsy events and little coffee shops that he thinks are much better than any in St. Helens. Well, I was getting’ close to puttin’ in my two-cents worth, when all of a sudden we heard some rustlin’ in the thicket some fifty or so yards past us!!! “Shhhh!,” the old boy said somewhat nervously. “That maybe the Elk boy!” Now with me just passin’ through town all of the time, I’d never heard of any such Elk Boy, which of course got me a little bit curious. “All that Bigfoot stuff ain’t but a bunch a-nonsense,” he whispered to me quietly so we wouldn’t be discovered. “But the Elk-Boy is fer reals!” There was a little more rustlin’ moving from the weeds and brush to the thicket just a little past us. "Some say it was a science experiment gone wrong," he continued on with his eyes getting’ bigger with each sound we heard and I was listenin’ real carefully and keepin’ my sharp eye out for this-here Elk Boy when suddenly a branch snapped just a few feet away from us! This ol’ Scappoose boy went a runnin’ and a hollerin’ like a chicken about ready to be grabbed, killed and served for dinner. I turned around fast and saw somethin’ that looked like a hairy deer or maybe a small elk movin' away from me just as fast as it could. I think it was movin on two feet! Though I can’t be sure. Hmmmm…I’ll try an’ keep my eye out for this-here Elk-Boy each time I come through town. Y’all sure got some real interestin’ stuff goin’ on around here. Be sure and take care of things, ya hear?
-Tom
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